I am going to begin a story ....cut to another story, then finish. How's that? (pardon typos, incomplete thoughts and anything else you may notice that doesn't make sense). I actually did a spell check but didn't edit for ebonics or anything like that LOL
I will entitle this story –La Diferance’?
Kind of my Italian, Cataluyan? French word? LOL Anyway, I am going to be quite facetious in my delivery but I must say I was thoroughly intrigued and perhaps even learned something.
La Diferance
Cultural Difference. I had an ah-ha moment while in Pisa, heading on a tour to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I’m hoping to word it so it makes sense. First, I will give my “Fat Albert” lesson learned then I will give my supportive information IE the story. This post will relate to some (maybe most) black women and the reputation of being loud, over independent, won’t shut up, our supposed lack of discipline and self control.
I was getting off the ship deciding to take on Pisa, Italy myself ixnay on the tourfay (pig latin shtoopid lol see how ambidextrious I am LOL) <<<-----humor. I was walking towards the bus that was to take me somewhere that I had no clue but was informed that I could catch another local bus that would take me to a train station that would lead me to another bus that would, at some point get me to the tower. In my journey, I noticed a couple ahead of me negotiating a taxi at one of the stops. I sort of loitered around trying to decide if I was going to get lucky and get some information as to how I could get to Pisa in one piece-A. At some point, the male (Ahkbar--his real name) of the duo (who I later learned was from Kuwait), obviously noticing that I was alone (and recognized that I was from the cruise ship) said we are heading to Pisa, why don’t you come get lost with us LOL (sigh of relief)
Ahkbar went to the terminal, he purchased the tickets for his wife, me and himself. 1) me, being the total stranger. I was sort of thrown off because I was insistent on paying my own way considering the fact this was our first interaction. I didn't know how to react to such a kind gesture. Living in Atlanta, nothing of the sorts has happened often, if ever.
He ushered us into some café ordered each of us a Latte and told us to wait for him at a particular table, he would go for a smoke and be right back. I was floored LOL It made me realize just how long it has been that I have been in the company of a man in that way. Taking care of my needs, caring, confidant, secure and taking such control and just took charge of a situation. I liked the feeling.
At the next station, to show my gratitude (so I thought), I went to the window and bought tickets for each of us for our next leg. I will say that Ahkbar was not pleased with this at all. I could sense a feeling from him that left him very uncomfortable that a woman would do these things such as this. He was really displeased about my show of independence. (A kind gesture as far as I was concerned). I think I did the “sista neck roll even”. *thinking* “Shoot, I don’t need NO man to do nothing for me, I can do it myself” (PAUSE) It was at this moment that I felt like an american black woman. I was perpertuating the stereotype. It really made me reflect on myself.
It was not a front on Ahkbars part either. He absolutely would not let go of the issue to the point that it disturbed me some that he would not accept my kind gesture as just that. He made it known to me the Middle Eastern culture. After we got on the train, it was like a 35 minute dissertation on the culture. Yeah, that's what we american people of color are lacking---culture.
So anyway, I sat back just kind of observing them together, how she was not passive or subservient but you could tell she had a lot of respect for her husband and his position. She was use to what I thought was so profound LOL I think I had a quick jealous moment. Note: throughout our entire interchange, I really did a lot of observing and reflecting.
At one point though, I was listening to Ahkbar trying to get directions from one of the citizens of whatever town in Italy we were in, and I thought he misinterpreted what the person said and I stepped up to him (like I GOT THIS!!) and said "no, I think he said we need to catch Bus #1, or something to that effect. (This is the killer part)
Ahkbar said in a gentle but firm manner, “you listen to me, I am right, I am the man, I take care of you”. In other words, slow ya role, I got this, shut up and let me do what I am suppose to do. Again, I loved it. It was at this point that I was thinking hmmm usually I would just keep on blabbing away, fussing about it to Joe Blow X (in the US), how wrong he was about the bus # and if we get lost how mad I was going to be and don’t be telling me what to do, you ain't my daddy and would probably have stormed off mad going my own way.
Instead, I sort of fell back and went back to join his wife.
To be continued.
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